Venting BIG time! Assualt charges please!

[BIGREDJH]

This is the GF.

This was BigReds weekend. (Even though he gets them every weekend.)
The oldest didn't get to dads house till 6pm on Sat, and was suppose to be there between 4:30 and 5pm (had a cub scouts event-basket ball and so on-says Sunday his mom made him go)
Sunday night my boyfriend was watching Super Bowl game and I OFFERED to take the kids home. It was no big deal, im dropped them off and picked them up several times before.
Sunday night I text her told her I was running late cause the youngest had sat in something wet (and hes a picky 3 year old when it comes to getting his clothes wet) and I had to go back to my boyfriends house and change them.
Her reply was harsh but I told her I would be there when I got there and reminded her that the oldest was late on Saturday.
She called my boyfriend to ask where I was, in the conversation she said "I hope she makes it home ok" in a sarcastic way........I found this out after the fact.(youll find out what next.)
I got to the house she came storming outside rushed the kids in the house and told me "we have to talk and settle this right now"
She asked me to step to the back of the vehicle which I didnt. To make a long story short she poked, I removed her hand, she bent my fingers back far enough half my hand is bruised. I reached for the driver door to remove myself from the situation and she closed the door back and said I wasnt going anywhere. I told her I was, she pushed me, I pushed back......a few punches were thrown......a few cat scratches came my way....and so on. I simply defended myself.
The people in her house, including her boyfriend and 2 kids came outside. she was still at it, but wasn't hitten me cause I had her by her neck with my arm locked. I yelled her and and told her her kids were there to stop. She said she didn't care and still tried attacking me. Finally her boyfriend calmned her down. and I was able to leave. OOOOHHHHHH did I mention that MY 3 year old was in the car right at the window we were fighting in front of. The skank broke my necklace and I lost the charm on it (which the police returned to me later)
I filed a police report for Contri. to the deleq. of minors (for starting a fight in front of the kids) and then put a warrent out for her for assault and damage to personal property.
She was called yesterday, drove herself to the dept. and was let off on an oath bond. From what I know she hasn't put a warrent out for me but she is denying the fact that she started it.

Well....whats going through my mind?!?!?!?!?! Is this man worth this? Did I do more damage by getting the warrent? She says she will keep the boys from him because of me, can she do this? What can I do to win in court? I have taken picutres of my scratches and bruises and the knot on my forehead?

What pisses me offffff and well depresses me and everyone wants to say what THEY WOULD HAVE DONE if they were me, all including mopping the street with her face, but I was thinking about her 2 kids watching from the yard and mine from the window of the vehicle? I was thinking Ill file this warrent and police report and he can try to get his kids......why would he want his kids with this crazy person?!?!?!? OH and she had a neck brace on  because last weekend she got hit from behind when there was snow on the ground.

What has BigRed done? Nothing.Why is so scared of her?

I had to get the policeman to help ME keep HIM from putting everyone in that house in ICU because her beating up on me BUT why did I do that?? Because I thought if he did that then he would look bad and void whatever warrent I did.

Uggggggggg.......BigRed is worth it! He's a good man, a good father, a good provider, but can I put myself and my daughter through this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Just venting! Any insight or advice or motherly/fatherly opinons??!?!?!

[paintray98]

Wow, sounds like the cops should have jailed her instead of taking an oath bond.  She cannot keep the kids from him if they have an agreed upon custody agreement, all she can legally do is bring it back to court to try and take time away from him which is unlikely due to the fact that she assaulted you in front of her kids, boyfriend and your child.  I can't say whether the courts would award more time to your boyfriend, but you never know.  Though from what i can gather, an oath bond means she promises she won't assault you again, but if she does she gets to sit in jail until bailed.  You getting a warrant for her arrest has nothing to do with his custody plan as its a completely separate issue.

If you think your boyfriend is worth it or not is up to you, you should take the time to think things through.  To be honest, I think he did right by not doing anything (its whats best for him) because if I were put in his shoes I'd know exactly what I would have done and it wouldn't have been pretty (and I'm not the violent type).  So he saved himself more aggravation by staying out of it.  Best he can do is drag her to court over it, or at least appear in court with you to support you if it comes down to it.

You did right by only doing what was necessary to stave off more harm to yourself and restrain yourself from harming her.  My suggestion if you think she might have a warrant out for you is to go directly to the police and ask about it, if they say yes, tell them (again) exactly what you said to get the warrant for her.  I know its a tough deal, but honestly I don't think it would be better to wait and have the cops knock at your door and cuff you at home.  You would save yourself some embarrassment and hopefully her boyfriend would testify that it was his girlfriend that attacked you and not vice versa.

[BIGREDJH]

Well...It was so late at night when I got the warrant that they waited till morning so they would not have scared the kids. I even thought that was a good idea. I agree she can't keep the kids from him, I guess my fear is will he do anything about it? I really don't mean to make him sound like the bad guy-he will read this- but I think he sometimes takes the easier road and tries not to upset her because then she WILL use the kids against him. If he plays nice he gets to see the kids, talk to them everynight, and so on. I was explained that an oath bond ment she signed something saying that she would show up to court and if she didn't she would go to jail at that time.

I know Its my decision if he's worth it, hell like I told him, if he wasn't I woudln't still be with him. He DID do the right thing but TRUST ME, he did NOT want to. Myself and 2 policeman had to very diligently keep him away from her house. His nick name is BigRed for a reason- and yes he is a Big Redheaded guy.

***Thank you by the way for putting those few extra words in this sentence. "You did the right by only dong what was necessary to stave off more harm to yourlsef AND RESTRAIN YOURSELF FROM HARMING HER" cause everyones wants to say what they "would have done" but hell all I saw were 2 children and knew my 3 year old was in the car watching everything.......

Like my 68 year old mother, who was a preachers wife told me, "Next time, mop the street with her face."

[paintray98]

well, at least its going to go to court and you documented your injuries.  Hope it all goes well for you!

[BIGREDJH]

Went to court yesterday....

I thought maybe it would be dismissed or thrown out, or that the judge would lecture both of us-- but we actually had to sit on the stand and gives testimonies, it was pretty awesome!!!

This was my first time in court, while I was very nervous, you couldn't tell. I kept it short and sweet.

BigRed's ex pretty much dug her grave and jumped in when she got on the stand.

She actually told the court that she called my boyfriend and asked where I was and ended the conversation with "I hope she makes it home ok." (I never brought this to the courts attention because I thought it would just be hear say) The DA asked why she said this and she said cause she was pissed off and angry. Then she also admited that I told her I didnt have time to deal with her and opened the driver door and she closed it, keeping me there. The DA asked her if she was in a neck brace (cause weekend before she'd been rearended) and that I started it, and that she was scared for her safety, why was she holding me from leaving?!?!?!

Her boyfriend did testify but he didn't lie about anything.

The court did ask me why I was takin the kids home instead of their father. I told them that I had offered because of was super bowl sunday and that I have dropped off and picked up the kids before and it had not been a problem before.

Well.....the outcome? She was found guilty and got probation, 100 hours community services, and has to pay court cost as well as comm. services cost, owns me for the repairs of my necklace. They did set it up in a way that she did not loose her CNA licesnce, which is ok. I didn't really want to do that to her PLUS I didn't want that to be the reason why she could try to raise child support.

Everyone in some way has said what they "would have done" or if they were me they would have wooped that ass.....or in an unintentional kind of way made me feel like i was the pu$$y (ex. "because if I were put in his shoes I'd know exactly what I would have done and it wouldn't have been pretty"-paintrey98).....................BUT yesterday....ahhhh yesterday......was the best high ive ever gottin! It was better than kneeing that skank in the crouch and slapping her across the face, or even mopping her face on the sement!!!!

oh yeah....boyfriend called last night to talk to boys like he does every night they arnt with him. She didn't answer and told him to "NEVER call her cell phone again unless HER BOYS were with him and they wanted to talk to her".

.........the end.........

[paintray98]

Sounds like he needs to get her ass back to family court and have this settled full out, there is NO reason she can prevent him from calling his own children.  If he allows this to go on, it's likely to only escalate to him not being able to see his children (deduced from how she reacted to you dropping the kids off on super bowl sunday)

key is not to argue with the ex over the phone/text/email and just drag her to court (arguing generally hurts your case in family court)

[BIGREDJH]

After giving it a few days things so far are pretty good...ideal anyways.

She must have been informed or got off her high horse cause she text my boyfriend that the oldest boys phone would be turned on after he got his homework was done until 8:30pm. She was still all crappy about it but as far as im concerned, thats what my boyfriend purchased the phone for. Last night, the boys called him. She hasn't text, called his cell, or work phone but those 2 text, and let me explain something.....that is AMAZING.

Hope it dosn't mean she has something up her sleeve......

On another note, not sure if alot of women...or anyone for that matter....get up here anymore.....BUT

The current gf or wife is suppose to stay out of it, which most of us TRY, sometimes are drug in. BUT I WILL NOT LET ANOTHER WOMAN, ESP. THE EX,  RUN MY LIFE OR BE THE CAUSE OF ME MISSING THE ONE I KNOW IS RIGHT FOR ME!!!

PERIOD!